STOP WEARING DARK RIMMED GLASSES

Dark rimmed glasses are a necessity, turned nerd accessory, turned fashion statement, turned symbol of hipster intellect. Then again, what isn't?

Dark rimmed glasses were once just normal glasses worn by normal people who needed very strong prescriptions. Then Buddy Holly, a singer with bad eyes, made these glasses famous and, subsequently, they became a staple of American pop culture iconography. And, since it's a scientific fact that nerds wear glasses- they also appeared on the faces of every nerd in a movie ever until recently. Now, in a sort of counter culture revolution- the glasses which were so nerdy are worn by non nerds to ironically look nerdy.

 By rockin the dark rimmed glasses people are self proclaiming their Nerd-hood and wearing it proudly. Ugly girls use them as a tool to distract from their face. Nerdy guys used them to appear superior to the attractive people who wear them to appear intelligent and into whatever indie rock band the nerdy guys discovered, like, forever ago- when they had their first album, because their second album sucks, they sold out.

Fact is, no face really needs a thick pair of BLACK rimmed glasses just like no mouth needs a diamond grill- but these glasses have become a sought after accessory in the alternative music and comedy scenes. A comedian wearing dark rimmed glasses is sending the message "I'd defend Kerouac till the death and when I was a teenager, I probably tried to start my own zine." The only thing worse than a pair of dark rimmed glasses is a pair of dark rimmed glasses without just plain glass in them or worse, without lenses at all...Yes, people do that.

BE THANKFUL YOU HAVE WORKING EYES IN THE FIRST PLACE!

In many cases, dark rimmed glasses serve as a distraction to detract from other awkward parts of the wearer- other clothing articles that serve the same “I don’t like myself so look at what I’m wearing in my attempt to exacerbate my bad qualities thus rendering them likeable because they are so over the top” include

-Funny sweaters (knit sweaters, kitten sweaters, anything with a print on it from 1970 and on) CHRISTMAS SWEATERS FOR YOUR MOM

- An afro on white people or simply growin out your hair into an afro for no reason other than you can (it gets in my personal space- I'm talking to you, earthy black girl and to you, hip hop obsessed jewish boy)

-Porn star mustaches

- Extra tight t shirts on dudes with extra gross bodies

-Sweatbands. Not unless you’re expending some serious energy playing competitive tennis 3-4 times a week, do you need sweat bands. We get it, you look like an athlete from the 80s, too bad you’re wearing that head sweatband at lunch. Can you cover up your legs? Your 70s track shorts are showing too much thigh. No, I get it, it’s funny because your thighs are super pale and over exposed, it’s hilarious…I can see your weiner.

  

Posted by THATSMYNIGHTMARE at 6/16/2010 6:19 PM
Categories: FASHION
Tags: hipster glasses indi alternative nerd
 

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