FLARED TANK TOPS
Flare Tank Tops
I hate you. You make me look like a bat.
To the insecure designer that invented these; how bad is your body that you feel the need to not only cover your middle with a flowy tank top (which is totally normal, every girl loves a flowy top) , but buttress it with fabric wings? Do you have scoliosis and a hernia?
You're not hiding anything! You know we can still see your arms right? And shoulders and beefy neck so, the world's gonna know you're chubby.
I just don't need THAT much material when I'm wearing a tank top. No one does, most Middle Eastern women would be annoyed at the amount of fabric here.
You wear a tank top because it's light weight- you don't want to be flanked by a pound of extra cotton. Oddly, I don't even see a lot of bigger girls wearing these. No, you know who wears them? Those lady girls (the girls who look 15 but are really 21 or who are 21 but look 15 or don't wash their hair for 15 days and only have 21 dollars) that troll around hollywood in 8 inch BOOTIE WEDGES and ripped jean shorts and somehow they make ripped jean shorts look fashionable and not trashy because their thighs don't actually touch the inner perimeter of the shorts.
(What is your maternity tank so violent looking? Oh, your not pregnant? Oh that's cool, hey, where's your bra? Oh you don't need one? No, you do- it's part of that whole walking upright/eating with utensils/being part of civilized society thing.)
Even weirder about these tanks is the way they flow. Imagine walking fast or even running in this- if you move your arms, which I'm assuming since you're not a robot, you will, the flaps will get wind under them and quasi take flight and flow behind you- ridiculous. You'll always look like your falling...only it will be horizontally and you'll look stupid.
Ask any guy, any guy who likes vagina (snooch), and not one will say "yeah, those flappy tanks with the extra flaps? I love those- the more material between me and a girl, the better"
Just like a black winged dove...sings a song sounds like she's singing...ew...ew...ew...
Kudos on the well-used 'Edge of Seventeen' shout out.
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As a Princeton graduate and someone with the word "Director" in his professional title, I am clearly an established arbiter of good taste and propriety...so hear me now. What Ms. Shlesinger has put forth here regarding this most flagrant and confounding offense to fashion is a rock-solid and empirically defensible statement of fact. Defy her, and face the wrath of 1,000 trust-fund babies. You've been warned.
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Will you remember me? Will I be kidnapped and tortured if I make a comment? I have all the 7 dwarfs from Disney World guarding my house!
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They remind me of wine coolers, & there's something about wine coolers that annoys the fucking shit out of me. & they take all the fun out of the breast moments of the day & replaces that fun with a Joanne Fabric sensory deprivation tank. It is so unpleasant. "Will you remember me? Will I be kidnapped and tortured if I make a comment?" - @Doc Who invited Sarah McLaughlin to this wine cooler party? See how rum is so much better than pussy wine coolers? & Fuck yes to @Tucker's comment. You're the real deal Iliza, you crack me up & down bebe. & it's very easy to forgive you as a comic when you (seldomly) don't kill with the quippy jokes on Excused, because that somehow only enhances the fact that you have the personality of a cupcake, yet the waistline of a cheetah & the adorable mouth of a seesaw with a fat kid & a skinny kid on it.
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The best place to get clothing, is a place in North London, Camden.. its called Dexie
BTW great blog
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Nice blog and you offer a great number of good points here. Keep up doing that and more and more guys will pay attention to your blog.
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I like this posts beautiful concept, I am also a girl and me always given some dresses shut piece to designer for get a new and beautiful dress. If we buy some new dress, so this is not perfect fitting on after wearing. But if we are buying some dress shut piece so this making fitting, flexible, and stylish. After wearing this dress we are looking fabulous.
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